Thursday, December 30, 2010

Ho Ho Ho!

Dear Santa,

First, I'm grateful for the lovely Christmas that arrived for my children. They are all happy with their new toys. Thank you for remembering that socks and underwear are lame gifts. As always, you remembered batteries. You are truly a wonder. You were a smidge noisier than in years past. I realize that some noise is necessary ("arose such a clatter" and all), but did you have to knock those photos off the wall? Yes, they are non-believers, but they are family.

I do have one teensy-tiny complaint. It seems you must have forgotten something for me. Was it the rain here in Seattle that threw you off, you being used to snow? Or maybe our lack of chimney (although rumor has it you can conjure one up if needed)? I received some lovely things in my stocking (notably chocolate things), but no gift card for fabric. Since I was rather specific in the fabrics I wanted, I was sure I would find them wrapped under the tree.

Imagine my disappointment upon discovering there was no fabric-shaped gift under the tree for me, especially after I baked your favorite chocolate chip cookies (by the way, here is the recipe for Mrs. Claus, but please tell her she must be strong and wait the requisite 24 hours before baking, no matter how much you beg).

Santa, I rarely ask for gifts, and typically turn the gifts I do receive into outlets for gift giving (my Kitchenaid being the workhorse around here for Christmas cookies). Some lovely little fat quarters would have been most welcome, and would have made a wonderful quilt for one of my star-eyed little ones to snuggle under.

I've contacted your customer service elves who instructed me to contact you directly. I'm sure we can clear this up. A mistake must have been made. You were most likely exhausted, having taken care of Europe, Africa, South America and the Eastern U.S. before arriving in soggy Seattle. Perhaps you were expecting a latte with your cookies (sorry, we're a non coffee drinking family). My apologies if you were. You certainly polished off the cookies and milk.

There is a giveaway going on at p.s. i quilt. If you've got any pull, I think a $50 shopping spree at fat quarter shop would fit the bill and save you a return trip to Seattle - it's horrendously gray this time of year. You just have a lovely vacation somewhere warm and let me make a quilt so I can keep warm too. I'm running out of hot chocolate.



p.s. If you happened to drop two gifts, my birthday is in March and I'd be ever so grateful for a new sewing machine. I realize it's off-season, but I have been very understanding about this whole gift-dropping business. Just saying.


Micki said...

That's a cute letter to Santa. Hope some of your requests work!

rachel griffith said...

ho! ho! ho!
you've been entered.

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